Train museum

X was not impressed. He loves trains, but not that day.

I loveyoutoo, now close the door

4 am conversations

X has taken th having a story conversation daily, between 3 and 4. Instead of annoying, I think they are hilarious. There is no warning. He's asleep, then he's awake having acoherent conversation in one second, then back to sleep. It's one of those things I want to remember.

Yesterday:
Oma coming?
Yes, Oma is coming today
See window...try?
No honey, she won't be here for a few hours
Gotcha

Today:
Tractor song?
No baby
Try it
No baby, try sleeping
Ohhh KAY.

Pretty sure he's two

I do not believe in letting kids cry. I didn't think they need to, or learn from it, or are codependent without it. I believe in hugging and holding and making them feel safe and loved no matter what. We do not to cry it out, or solitary punishment, or mommy us busy so you can cry. If course he cries. Of course I do things that he doesn't like, but I don't just leave him, I talk him through it, we name feelings, I explain why. And then sometimes he just cries, because he's two, and the dog won't play with him, or mommy won't give him ice cream, or he didn't want to wear pants. And this is what those times look like.

Toddlers. Sheesh.

X didn't nap yesterday. I blamed my mom for keeping him up past his nap and ruining the cycle. He fell asleep in my arms before 6:30. Maybe more like 6. He woke up this morning at 5:10, up at 5:30, no mercy. We went to breakfast, the bank, the store, the toy store and played outside. Ate lunch, milk, nap. Minus the nap. It is 4:42 now and he is walking with Mike. No nap in sight. Jesus. I am so tired I feel like I have a newborn. And I have sciatica, which means I am over 65 (shingles anyone?) or that I am pregnant, or that I have residual issues from the epidural. That is what I gathered from the interwebz at least, which is obviously medically sound and 100% accurate. I think from those options, I pick over 65. He is lucky.

62 days and counting until Puerto Rico. Which involves two 4 hour plane rides and a 2 hour layover and leaving the house before 5AM on a Friday, followed by a 45 minute drive in almost a foreign country. Like one minus passports and vaccinations. Which I will gladly do because it will result in laying on the beach drinking pina coladas in a bikini while X builds sandcastles and chases iguanas. Psyched.

So I leave you with this. 62 days folks.

Montserrat Beach and jungle, the view from our balcony, and the living room/dining room that opens entirely to the ocean.

New Years

We didn't send Christmas cards this year. We barely even got photos taken. It has just been one of those times, where stress and other things get in the way. I am looking forward to a New Year, with new commitments to spend quality time with my family, to be happy with who I am and where I spend my time, and to commit to friendships I want to preserve. That means less technology so I can enjoy my amazing husband and son; finding a new job that I love and that I find rewarding and also feasible with a child so that I can put energy into work without feeling miserably unsuccessful at both; spending more time with myself: getting healthy and doing activities I love--like writing, baking, cooking, taking an interest in how I look, working out at least 3 times a week, and spending 30 minutes each day alone to rejuvenate, because I can't be a good mom, teacher or wife if I am never alone, I am an introvert; and it means taking some trips--going to Greeley, having a beer after work, going out to lunch on Fridays, postponing Puerto Rico and replacing it with Destin, Florida to see my best friend get married on the beach, taking time to see my family and my dad and a very close friend in Arizona, night weaning X so that Mike and I can go out with friends once in a great while, since all of them have committed to seeing us before 8 for the last 2 years. We have amazing friends who are insanely understanding and accommodating when it comes to X, and don't ever hold it against us or make us feel guilty for not seeing them, but Mike and I need an chance to see them, maybe not until summer when X is 2, because developmentally that is better for him, and easier on me, but seriously, soon, and not always in a place that is baby friendly, like our living room. Here is to 2013!

But, with all of that, I had an amazing year, and aside from my job, wouldn't have changed a thing.I mean look at these two, how could I not be absolutely in love and thankful for them?

Christmas with a toddler

Christmas this year was a little hard for me. I just had a hard time getting into it, and I didn't go on break until 4 days before Christmas, which made it hard to shop, decorate or do crafts. It made me really miss last year when I wasn't working. And work was stressful at best. As a matter of point, I don't blog about work. I find it to be unprofessional at best, and even detrimental to success. So we will leave it at stressful. This whole year has been stressful, and I have no idea what to expect when I return to work.

However, Christmas with X is amazing. He is finally at an age when he can really enjoy the holiday. He doesn't really get it, but he does understand that people get him new toys. On Christmas Eve, we went to the mall to get a few little presents that I hadn't gotten, and we had a great time. Usually the mall is stressful on Christmas Eve, usually it is stressful with X, but somehow, on Christmas Eve with X it was great. He even saw Santa.

Mike had to work Christmas Eve, and Christmas, and the day before. Essentially, he worked all of Christmas (he also worked all of Thanksgiving and New Years). So on Christmas morning when he got home we did presents and breakfast. Mike and I try really hard to mitigate the effects of technology, consumerism and privilege. We only buy X 4 gifts total--and starting next year the same for us: something you want, something you need, something you wear and something you read. We got X a basketball hoop, two books, an outfit and a pair of boots (that I just picked up today, thankfully he is 1 and doesn't know that his parents are insane slackers). That is it. Yes, I plan to do this for forever. We are standard middle class Americans. Our child wants for nothing. He has tons of toys, plenty of food, more clothes than he needs. He will never know what it is like to do without. Even if something horrible happened to Mike's job, my parents and his parents would be able to provide all necessities until we were back on our feet. Would it be hard and embarrassing? Yes, of course, but our child will really never experience need. And I am thankful for that, but I want him to be thankful for that too. And this Christmas taught me that he still got a ridiculous amount of toys.

Finally, we finished our holiday with a trip to Zoo Lights, where we froze. X didn't really get it, but as always he loved seeing Otto, and I love spending time with Allison and Ben. Really, it made me feel like we had Christmas.