Sharing the News

I don't know what it is, but I hate telling people I am pregnant. I detest it. I have no idea why. Actually, telling strangers isn't so bad, so it is just people I know. I love that I am pregnant, I am super excited for the baby and am getting to the stage that is supposed to be enjoyable. I have started to dream about the baby moving instead of having nightmares about miscarriages. So, it isn't that I don't like being pregnant, and it isn't that I don't like people knowing, that doesn't bother me at all, I just hate telling people. Maybe it is because we are an unconventional couple and that makes other people unsure about how they feel. No one has asked me if I plan on getting married now that I am pregnant, but Mike faces that a lot. Maybe I am just apprehensive of judgment. I am happy with my decision. I love Mike, I am happier than I have ever been in my life and I am very content with my decisions. Yet I just hate telling people. Maybe I should have told people we were trying, then it wouldn't be a surprise, but I didn't really want that pressure either. I don't know. Maybe it is just who I am. I get too much attention for it.

Bartenders

Every Sunday night Mike and I go to Old Chicago for dinner and beer. We rarely miss going and it has always been a good way to end the weekend and get ready for the week--no need to cook, super relaxed and our time together. Well, you don't go somewhere every week for years and not get to know, well everyone, in a restaurant. We are actually pretty good friends with the bartender. Mike plays golf with him, we BBQ with his family, pretty normal friend things. The problem is, I am pregnant, and our whole relationship with this person (and a few others) depends on beer consumption. Depends may be harsh, but it would definitely stand out if I just stopped drinking. We have even joked with him before that he would find out we were pregnant before most people. However, with all of the dangers with the baby lately, I really don't want to tell him about it until the second trimester. I don't want to tell anyone. But we still have to go to the bar and have dinner, it is our thing. So now I go and get a beer (I don't actually order it, I just sit down and it appears) and Mike secretly drinks it while drinking his. He has to drink twice a fast because otherwise it takes him too long to finish his, which looks suspicious too. Tonight his tactic was to take large gulps of mine when no one was looking. This made it look like I really liked my beer and resulted in a refill. So Mike had to down four beers in an hour, which cracks me up. Normally I am a little jealous that he can drink and I can't, but now it is that he HAS to drink, and I can't, which seems almost fair.

Who knows?

As of today, I am finishing my first month of pregnancy. One down, eight more to go, and to be fair, half of the first one doesn't even really count. So, who knows? Well, all of you. We have told my mom (I want to tell my dad in person, so that will be about 8-9 weeks), Millie, Rachel and I think Ella knows. Mike is telling his parents tomorrow--so that brings the count to 5 people and a dog. Oh, and everyone at my dentist office. I had to get my teeth cleaned today, this was scheduled two months ago, but I had to tell them I was pregnant because of X-Rays and other treatments. It was SO NICE to tell people. People are so into it. Everyone asked about the due date and if it was my first and on and on. It made it more real for me and it made it fun and happy instead of so scary. I am sure I will get over people asking as soon as I am showing, but for right now, it was awesome. We are waiting to tell siblings and other close friends and family until after the first trimester, or at least the first sonogram when we can hear the baby and make sure everything is okay. It will be a slow process of telling people because we both want to tell people in person. It is hard not to tell people.

EDIT: I am uploading pictures that I took months ago (I am 20 weeks now). I remember thinking that I looked so pregnant, and that everyone would know. I had even taken out my belly ring because my stomach was stretching and it itched and got caught on things. Although the baby was microscopic, I was bigger in these photos than I was prior to being pregnant, thanks to early pregnancy bloating. It is about the same as having a period for 3 months, with added nausea, in case anyone wanted to know.