Not Yet Incubating

I am not pregnant yet. I had this idea that it would be super easy, super fast and happen romantically on my perfect trip to Europe. Although the trip was awesome, it was not perfect and a baby was not conceived. I was not prepared for how utterly devastating that would feel. Perhaps it is a bit dramatic, but it was devastating. I had assumed it would just happen, in fact I was honestly very concerned that it would happen too early and I would be pregnant in May. Now it is going to be July, or August, or gulp, September. Please just let it be July. On top of all of that, and this is TMI so you may want to skip to the next paragraph, getting your period really sucks when you aren't on the pill anymore. Not that on the pill is it great or whatever, but I had sort of forgotten how bad cramps really are and how long this damn thing last. I miss my birth control pills so much right now. Plus, hormonally, the pill totally regulates everything. So not being on the pill makes me emotionally, shall we say, sensitive? Crazy may be more accurate. Therefore, I get all psyched right before my period thinking that I am pregnant, then I am not and it is a crushing reality paired with irrational emotions due to hormones. Fun times.

Anyway, my friend Amber is pregnant, her baby is due in October. This weekend I went to her baby shower and although slightly overcome with jealousy, I had a good time. It was a really nice: party with games that were not offensive or obnoxious, which is a plus, yummy cake, nice people. Yet, based on a conversation with Allison, another great friend, we have decided that our showers will have alcohol. Not like lots, but a nice punch or maybe mimosas. I am not sure how I will hack that since you don't get to throw your own party, but that is the plan. Allison is trying to get pregnant too, but she doesn't know that I am. No one really knows. It is hard enough to deal with not being pregnant without the world asking and commenting. Everyone who knows, which I can count on one hand (well, two hands I guess if parents count as two people) have already asked if I am pregnant or made a comment about it. Which I don't mind, that is why those people know, but still, if I had to facebook about it or something I may die. I am not sure why anyone tells before they are actually pregnant, although I know waiting 12-14 weeks will also be miserable when I am pregnant. Anyway, I digress. The baby shower. It was nice with tents and cake and games. I like the "decorate a onesy" activity. I also made this adorable card for Amber that I love.