Half Way

At nineteen weeks a lot of books consider me half way, although at twenty weeks I think I will be more comfortable calling it half way. I can't believe I have been pregnant for so long. I am definitely starting to show more constantly, rather than the baby playing hide and go seek every day. I can also feel my belly more, like I bump into things and I feel a hard lump when I lay down or against something. Mike says he can feel it too when I sleep against him, just like a constant pressure. The baby definitely kicks now--or punches, headbutts, something--it is more like a thumping than a fluttering or a vibration. I feel the fluttering more still, but there have been a few thumps in there. I am excited to see it moving all over the place in the ultrasound and to finally be able to call it something other than it! 10 days and counting until our anatomy scan.

It is also time to start making real decisions. We are completely registered on Baby's R Us and Amazon.com, although I need to add some gender specific items and update the amazon registry to include our stroller and car seat choices since those changed. We started the nursery, or we cleaned the room and picked out paint. Jill is going to bring me the crib on Wednesday. We are going to do the closet ourselves, but it is going to be really hard for me to wait on buying stuff. At the very end of pregnancy both registries will give us a one time coupon to get everything still left on the registry at 10% off, but that doesn't leave a whole lot of time to actually finish the nursery, so I think I will end up buying some stuff early. Even though it is a good deal, there are certain things we do really need for the baby and there will be plenty of other stuff for people to buy, like clothes and stuff. We will see how I do on self-control. I also need to put in for my leave of absence at work. I think we have book decided that it is best for me to take a year off, but it makes me really nervous. I am not good at depending on someone else and I am very worried about how I will handle the stress of dependency plus the stress of loosing so much money all at once. Neither of us are very good at budgeting, and we sort of need to figure that out now. I have been trying to get out of debt before the baby comes, and I have made some good progress, but I still have outstanding debt and although we have plenty of money it doesn't seem like we are rolling in it.

The hardest thing is that I need to come to terms with the fact that I have to actually have the baby. You always know you have to, but it seems so distant. We need to take some labor classes and I need to read a lot of books on how to have a natural labor so that I am prepared. Right now The Bradley Method of childbirth is all the rage with natural birth advocates, but I don't like it, it creeps me out. I am not sure why. So I need to find books on other methods and prepare myself. Mike also needs to prepare to be able to help me, or something. I am not sure. I think I want my mom there with me to help. She really wants me to get a doula, and although I can see the benefits, I can also see the expense. I am just not sure having yet another person in there will help. I mean, they are supposed to advocate for you and your choices, but I want to be able to make those choices as the happen, although I am not sure that is realistic. I need to talk to Mike and see how comfortable he is in making choices or being assertive while I am in labor. If he isn't then maybe I will get a doula. I just don't know. Regardless, really big deal that I need to deal with soon :)

As far as the baby goes, we have a mango:
Vernix caseosa, a greasy white substance made of lanugo, oil, and dead skin cells (yum) now coats baby's skin, shielding it from the amniotic fluid. (Picture yourself after a nine-month bath, and the need for protection makes sense.) You might get to see the vernix at birth, especially if baby is premature.

Your baby is between five and six inches long and weighs about seven ounces—about the size of an apple. If the baby is a girl, early ovaries contain follicles with forming eggs. Soon, half of the genetic material for your potential future grandchildren will be formed. Pictures of babies at this age show them touching the membrane of the amniotic sac, touching their own faces, reaching for the umbilical cord, pedaling their legs, and sucking their thumbs. If you're carrying twins, they may already be swatting at each other. Your baby may already have a preference for the left or right hand. In the brain, areas of the nerve cells that serve the senses of touch, taste, smell, sight, and hearing are becoming specialized and are forming more complex connections. Loud sounds as well as any feelings you may have of stress or alarm may be communicated to the baby. The baby responds to these stresses by becoming more active. Practicing yoga and meditation can be good for your sense of calm and balance.

And for me:
Those nasty leg cramps are probably making it tough to get comfortable. One way to ease the pain: Extend your leg and flex your ankle and toes toward your knees. Or enlist your partner for a calf (and back!) massage. Good news: Your now-bulging belly should get you a little more compassion from everyone around you.