Egumacation

Mike and I started our baby classes. We are taking a condensed version that lasts six hours on two different Sundays, rather than a few hours for a month. It is nearly impossible for Mike to be at a class on the same day for four weeks, so this is the only way we could fit it in. I was pretty weary of the class to begin with--just because it is offered by our hospital and from what I have read a lot of them are a waste of time. I essentially figured I would go, but that I would prepare for my labor independently. However, the class was really cool. It started off a little rough, talking about pregnancy and nutrition and stuff, but it got a lot better. The teacher is obviously in favor of natural childbirth, which I think is super awesome. It may be annoying to others in the class, but I think a lot of people plan on getting an epidural and therefore do not plan much else. In reality you are in labor for a long time before you can get that epidural and you still need some way to manage the pain. In the afternoon she had stations set up for couples to rotate through that focused on pain management techniques. Some of them worked for me and some didn't, which is the point I guess. For instance, music does nothing for me. I knew this going in to the class, but it reaffirmed it. I find repetitive sounds obnoxious (which is sort of the definition of most music), and in a heightened sense of ones surroundings I may kill anyone who puts on music. I was surprised to find that breathing techniques also don't work that well, but Mike and I agreed to practice them anyway because I have a tendency to hyperventilate. So although it may not help with pain, it will help me breathe. I really liked the idea of squatting and a squat bar and that it was AWESOME that the hospital has them in each room. I didn't realize this, but it does show how progressive our hospital is since you can't use one with an epidural and yet they have them installed. I knew our hospital had birthing balls, so I was sort of prepared for that, but not the bar. I didn't like the ball as much as I thought I would, but I did like the prepping for labor exercises and I think I will use it in the early stages of labor, more to relieve back pressure than anything. They also had a station for different postures to use during labor. I think that this will actually be the most helpful because I will want to move around. My biggest fear is being forced to lay in bed to labor, so knowing all of these positions will help me. Also the aromatherapy was cool. I have never been into aromatherapy, putting on the "too hippy" side of life, but I found that some scents did relax me and I plan on getting a few. Will I used them? Who knows, but it can't hurt. Finally was the massage station. By far the best obviously. We got to play with massage toys and rub each other's backs, which felt amazing. Although there was this blue dolphin that creeped me the hell out (thanks Rachel). Whatever. I was thinking that massage wouldn't really help in labor, but I think it will because it will help me relax which is important. Apparently being tense is like the worst thing you can do, so yeah, massage is awesome. Plus Mike is practicing it every night to help me get more comfortable with it. How great is that. Mike was AWESOME for the whole class and even enjoyed quite a bit of it. Even watching the babies being born was pretty neat. Next week we will get coffee on the way in though.

Oh yeah, except at the beginning of class when we were introducing ourselves and I was supposed to say something I enjoyed or disliked about being pregnant and I said the whole damn thing really sucks other than getting a baby at the end and that I don't understand liking the pregnancy part after the super joyfulness of being pregnant wears off. I think this is sort of realistic and people should tell women about all of the awesome side effects, like SCS (swollen clam syndrome) or increased vaginal discharge, or varicose veins in your VULVA, not to mention the *normal side effects of severe heartburn, constant anxiety and hemorrhoids. So, I said all of that, and then every other person but one talked about how awesome it is and how great it is and how much they loved it. Bleh. Fucking liars. Going to the bathroom a gazillion times a day IS NOT the worst part of being pregnant. Neither is canckles. Idiots. People need to be more honest about this shit, that is how you prevent teen pregnancy.