why the laundry is never done

Look, what is this, a laundry basket you say...



Can I get inside of it?


Hmmm, not really what I was planning.


Mom, this laundry thing is SO FUN!!!


5....4....3....2...1



MOM THIS IS NOT FUN, NOT FUN! GET ME OUT! WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING!

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Day Zero

-Totally NOT baby related, well as much as anything is not baby related-

Have you heard of Day Zero? It is a bucket list of sorts, but not with farfetched some-day-before-I-die ambitions. It is a list of 101 things, measurable and quantifiable, that you want to do in three years. Well, under three years. 1001 days. I think I need this sort of thing. I need something that is me, something that I want to do. Being a stay at home mom is amazing, and rewarding, and stressful, but it is also monotonous, and I can see this year flying by and sitting back thinking wow, what did I do? The answer will be nothing. But that isn’t true, I do lots, but I won’t remember what I did, and truthfully that is how much of my life is. What have I done? I have lived abroad and traveled, I have graduated from college—lots. I have gotten married and divorced and had a baby. But I am almost 30 and I want more out of life. I want to DO stuff, not just BE stuff. I am a teacher, a mother, a fiancée and a part-time rather poor blogger.

Now I need to move into what I do. My goal is have my list done by December 1^st. However, 101 things is really a lot of things, and I don’t want to put things on the list just because, so if it isn’t done, I think I will still start and add to it until January 1^st. I don’t want anything on my list that is already planned. Stuff I want to do and have talked about is fine, but stuff like get married is not, we are already planning that and even without it on my list I would still accomplish that, or do that (do you accomplish a wedding)? I am trying to make it feasible, but still a stretch. So, considering I do have a baby and a new soon-to-be-husband, travel the world is probably not a reasonable goal and belongs on a bucket list instead.

Are you doing a Day Zero list? If so, please comment and leave me your blog so that I can check out your ideas, I would love to get some inspiration. Until then I will add to my list, try to organize it, and DO something with my life. See the new page I have added!

Mama Update

I have never been a happy person—maybe as a baby, my mom says I was a happy baby. But I was not a happy child and I did not grow into a happy adult. Thoughtful, insightful, tender, precocious—but not happy. Not just simply good natured and happy. Yet, I find, that I am. That doesn’t mean I don’t get frustrated, or annoyed, and I definitely get stressed, or maybe just live stressed as a new lifestyle, but I am undoubtedly happy. All of the time. I love my life in a way I didn’t think existed. I seriously just didn’t know what happiness was until I found Mike and had X. I am ridiculously, undeniably, happy.

It has been over five months and I am still adjusting to life with a baby. It is a crazy demanding job since there is never a break. I get why “educational baby TV” exists—it gives parents a reprieve. My days revolve around the little dictator’s life—his nap schedule, his nursing schedule, his mood, and development. And that is what I want. We go on play dates and library time and spend a lot of time at the park. We recently, as in right now for the first time, instituted what I like to call “daddy X time” but what is really “mommy needs a fucking break RIGHT NOW” time. However, I really do honestly believe that is really important for X and Mike to spend time along together. Granted, Mike took X to his parents for a visit, but still. I am not there and X needs that. Mike and X need to bond more and develop a way to do things their way, because I am way too inclined to “help” or “tell Mike exactly how to do something and then take X out of his arms when he doesn’t do it right my way” and all that does is undermine Mike, which I know, and I get, but I just.can’t.help.it. So Mike needs to learn how to take care of X on his own, well not learn, that makes he sound like he doesn’t know how. He needs a chance to take care of X on his own because someday soon he will need to because I will go back to work. And Mike is X’s parent too and should be able to put him down for a nap or whatever on his own. Plus, I would feel so much better if I knew X didn’t cry the entire time I am gone since he is used to being alone with his dad.

Physically I am still healing. My cesarean section still hurts considerably and I am afraid that something may be wrong. I am going for a post-surgery massage because I need someone to tell me it is okay. I have a nasty scar which the doctor assured me would fade, but it is pretty knarly still. I have excess skin on my belly and stretch marks all over. And my butt is gone?! What the hell? I am 5 pounds lighter than I was when I got pregnant though, so hopefully in time I will also shrink. It is crazy to think that in the course of one year I gained and lost over 55 pounds, and swelled many inches in all sorts of places. A year is not very long. But I am ecstatic to be a normal size for my wedding, which is in about 8 months. Since I am a stay at home mom I actually get plenty of sleep, which is good because I am not good without sleep. I have no idea how working mom’s do it. I guess it becomes more of a team effort with Mike getting up with X at night, but right now, it works for us. All three of us are happy and healthy and building our family, and I love it. Every minute of it. PS. Did you see my freaken ring? I am still in shock.

Blogging solutions

I have a hard time remembering what I want to blog about. I have great ideas but never at the right time, then I forget. Or I'll go to write X's monthly update and have no idea what happened. So, my solution? Micro blogging! Aka, Twitter. See it over there. Yup that's right, constant updates on my adorable baby, parenting and my boobs. I hope no one actually follows my Twitter feed because that could be rough. Now I can reference it for blog updates and use it to keep my blog updated when I don't have time to write an entry. Whoo hoo social media.

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I know, I suck at blogging. I use blogging for three things: to vent, to whine and to document. So in the past when I have suddenly stopped blogging it has been because I am happy and busy or super lame and apathetic. Am I those? No. So, what is the problem? I have a 4.5 month old!! Holy fuck, it is like being a constant puppet master for the small dictator of the world. Constant entertainment, feeding, diaper changes, baths, cleaning and trying to eat and drink water. Plus clogged milk ducts, oversupply issues, synthetic material stink, finding pajamas that fit, sleep schedules, play dates, story time La Leche League meetings and writing letters of rec from the other life. Oh, and I AM GETTING MARRIED. Holy fuck. So, when the monster goes to bed, or naps, what do I do. Nothing. I look at my phone. I don't blog, or watch TV or read. I seriously look at my phone for like hours. Seriously, it is insane. I have never been this busy in my life. Mondays we have LLL and Otto play dates, Tuesday is library day, Wednesday is usually stay home day, Thursday is teaching day, Friday is grandma day, Saturday is seeing anyone with a job day, Sunday is Mike's time to go to Old Chicago and hang out with Scott, which shouldn't affect me but it does. Wait, that is only one thing each day. Don't forget the incessant laundry that cloth diapering creates, reading about solids, getting X to nap, cooking for Mike and I, actually eating and showering, researching carseats, learning toys and the impact of TV on little brains. Oh and we have a dog, and a budget, and I AM PLANNING A WEDDING. I miss blogging, but not as much as I miss uninterrupted sleep. Peace. Check out my ring.

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What month are we on?

So, month 4 was pretty awesome, but I haven't written anything about because of the so called four month wakeful period. And Mike being gone a lot. And X being almost mobile, definitely being more aware and demanding a whole lot more of attention. So, I will try to keep this as a month 4 update, but realize we are at 4.5 months, so it may be a little blurry.

So, X man, at 4 months (well, two days shy) you weighed 17 pounds and 15 ounces and were 26.5 inches tall. Yes, that is HUGE. You also hit most of your 6 month milestones already and thoroughly impressed your doctor. They have cleared you for solids, but we are waiting until 6 months because of growing evidence of the causes of childhood obesity, adult diabetes and quite frankly, nasty poop. So, your sole source of nutrients for those 18 pounds is mama. Yeah. We spend a lot of time "bonding."

At the beginning of this month we took a trip to Estes Park to hike around. I am not sure I would say that you were a fan of it necessarily, but you tolerated it. You like to be outdoors, but driving is not your favorite thing and I am not sure you get why we had to go to another town to spend time outside when there are plenty of open spaces near us. 

You definitely entered the 4 month wakeful about a week before 4 months, essentially skirting all naps or tricking me with 10 minutes at a time. Nights are not horrible, but you want to nurse all of the time at night, like every two hours.

We still go out with Otto and Allison at least once a week, and you are very interested in Otto, although not nearly as interested as you are with the baby in the mirror. However, you and Otto will at least chew on each other and share toys. Otto is much better at napping than you are, but I think it is because you like having mommy and Allison all to yourself. You still like everyone, but in particular young women. You are a total flirt.

Learning how to sit all by yourself

You spend a lot of time naked and playing at home. Sitting up is your newest accomplishment, although you fall over after a minute or two. By your 4 month appointment you could sit unassisted for at least a minute though. Apparently this is still really early because everyone is impressed with it.

The Boppy definitely helps

Just a tiny bit of help from mommy

 You have also mastered the MMMMM sound, which you find hilarious and making smacking noises with your mouth.


We have also invested in a Jumperoo which you love, although it wears you out and makes you cranky if you are in it too long. You love all toys, especially anything easy to lift and put in your mouth. You also seem to be teething, no teeth broken through yet, but you love chewing and drool A LOT. Since you can't really sit too well, and you are too chubby for the popular bumbo, we had to get you another chair, which you like a lot.

Chillin' in the chair

trying to escape the chair

Something other than X

I have a new obsession lately, pinterest.com. If you are not familiar, don't do it. It will suck away your life with all sorts of things you want to buy, do, build, cook and make. Not to mention the time you spend finding such things.

Lately I have been feeling very trapped. X is still really young and therefore needs a lot of attention. Plus he really wants to do more than he is physically capable of, which leads to me helping him sit, stand, walk and get close to things to touch, grab, taste and look at. And while all of this is totally exciting, sometimes I just need a break. It is just draining. So Mike offered to take X for four hours--two hours at his parents house then bring him home to nurse and I could leave for two more hours.

So, what did I do? I found crafts I could do on pinterest and went away to the craft store. First, let me say how nice it is to do something that takes both hands and some concentration for more than 10 minutes. I love my son more than anything, but the only things I do aside from him are laundry and cleaning, both of which need done ALL.THE.TIME. So craft time was amazing. I really wanted a fall wreath and I became obsessed with makeing modge podge coasters. No idea why, we have plenty of coasters. Maybe Christmas presents?

The wreath was sort of pricey since I had to buy all of the flowers, wire and base to make it, but I love it and it was way cheaper than buying one.

The coasters were pretty cheap. I had to buy a can of sealant to make them waterproof but that will last forever. The actual tiles are 16 cents each, I already had everything else. So I made 8 coasters for $11.28 and I can make a gazillion more for just $1.28 a set. I really like how they came out too. Next time I will leave a boarder like I did in the maroon background with white flower ones, I like how it looks better. So, here is to Donna time, as in Donna the person, not mom or milk lady.

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