Being pregnant isn’t easy

I love the idea of the baby, and I don’t necessarily hate being pregnant, but it isn’t easy. I am sure I will hate it later, when I am so big putting on shoes is difficult and when the baby is big enough that kicks don’t feel cool, plus the overly exciting idea of lightning crotch. All of that just sounds like so much fun. But even now, even in the Honeymoon second trimester I still don’t think it is so much fun. I guess it is better than the other two trimesters, it is definitely WAY better than the first one, but I always thought I would like being pregnant. I thought the second trimester would be better than not being pregnant. It isn’t, in case anyone was wondering, it is just better than the first trimester.

I am pretty fucking sick of being fat. I have never really been fat before, at least not in the middle. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a size 0 and have never wanted to be, but I have always been very happy how I look. Sure, my thighs tend to be huge and tanning is impossible, but that was always okay. My waist has always been thin. Like, really thin. And I never had to do ANYTHING to maintain it, thank you mom for the genetics. So while there are lots of things I would change if I could, there was nothing I would actually work for; hence my horrible gym attendance. Now, my pants don’t fit, I don’t look cute at all and my quarterback shoulders no longer lead into a tiny waist, so I really do look like a short high school linebacker instead of some crazy curvy German Helga. I was okay with fat thighs and wide shoulders, because I still looked like a girl. I was still attractive. Now I have a baby gut that looks pretty much like a beer gut. There really is little difference in appearance. I am not good at not being attractive. This baby is going to be an only child (plus fat people have a lot less sex I have decided, at least in my case, so making another baby is pretty moot).

Oh yeah, and you can't drink, so you are always DD. Even to the ballet.