We Bought What?

No, this is not about Betsy, the cow in the freezer, although that would be an appropriate title for a post about her. This is about all the crap we have accumulated for X and what was worth it or not so worth it. I have wanted to write this for a long time, but just today X put himself to sleep (no crying) for the first time, so I am taking advantage. Okay, here is my list of invaluable items and worthless crap :)

Best things we bought:
Fisher-Price Newborn to Toddler Rocker--HE IS SLEEPING IN IT RIGHT NOW! Enough said. But it is really cool and it grows with them eventually turning into a little rocking chair.
Organization cubes for his nursery--nurseries get messy, these make life so much easier and give me a chance to maintain some sort of order at least
Cloth wipes warmer--I really love it because you can just add water and a solution cube and let it dissolve, add wipes and voila. Disposable wipes suck and they are expensive.
Mei Tai Baby Carrier--X is too big for a Moby style wrap, I can't figure out the ring sling and it is too damn hot for the Ergo with baby insert. The Mei Tai is perfect--completely adjustable, comfortable, pretty and X fits in it.
Newborn photos--they change SO fast, he is completely different than that little bundle we brought home, and as much as I wanted to, I was too tired to take a lot of pictures. These photos were totally worth it.
A gazillion receiving blankets--we don't use them as much now, but those first few weeks we actually ran out of them. We have like 25.
Breastflow bottles--he uses them, we have no issues nursing (besides all of our issues nursing). Does the bottle matter? No idea, but it worked so I am not messing with that.
Mother Love Nipple Cream--helped me get over my allergy to lanolin and possibly continue to breastfeed
Large wet bags--lets face it, you aren't going to change the baby in its room all the time, these are a life saver.
Diaper Bag--it doesn't really matter, but get one that you like. I love mine. Was it ridiculously expensive? Yes. Is it huge? Yes. Do I love it? Yes. Mike has his own. Get one you love, it will be your ONLY accessory.
Dinosaur Art Cards--no idea why, but he has LOVED them since he was days old. 
Nice Play Mat--he spends a lot of tummy time on it, it is clean, bright, easy to move and as he grows there are toys to play with.
Extra Waterproof Pads--They are so much nicer than puppy pads for naked baby play time.
Gas Medicine--Seriously. This stuff is pure gold when you have a screaming baby at 3 am. I am not sure if he always had gas, but the medicine always made him stop screaming, so I am not sure I care either way.

What were we thinking?
Newborn clothes--these things go up to 8 pounds, he was 9.5 pounds, enough said?
Cloth diapers--I LOVE cloth diapers, but I wish we would have waited until he was here and tried a bunch of them. I am not sure we have ones that will work for him.
Black and White Toys--They can only see black and white so they will need something to play with right? Babies don't play. They want you, not some stupid, overpriced toy that is supposed to stimulate them. Babies are easily over stimulated, don't buy into the stupid toys.
Huge stroller--I am torn, part of me wishes we would have just gotten a BOB and a snap and go. The stroller is really large and he hates his carseat anyway so we don't use it much. When we do use it it is nice though, so not horrible, maybe just not the best choice. 
Muslin Blankets--People swear by these, and they are super soft and big, but they are too big and get bunched up really easily and X gets tangled in them and it scares the shit out of me. I like the regular blankets, thanks. Plus, they are $20 a piece. For a blanket.
Ergo Infant Insert--it is a big piece of super soft, fabric to wrap baby in and put in the carrier. I live in CO and my son was born the end of May. What the hell was I thinking. It is SO HOT. It would be awesome for November babies, or those born in Alaska.
Pack and Play--not horrible, I just wish I would have gotten a co-sleeper instead. 

Week 5

X is getting so big, it is both awesome and super sad. He looks in the mirror now, laughs, smiles and plays. He also naps less and wants to be entertained more. He isn't usually great about just hanging out-he is either asleep or wanting my complete undivided attention. It is exhausting, but fun. This week we went to the botanic gardens and the art museum with Allison and Otto. X slept the entire time at both.

Overall his favorite things are the mirror above his changing table, nursing, sleeping on daddy and walks, but not in his stroller as that requires his carseat, which was invented by the devil obviously. He currently weighs 11 pounds 14 ounces!

We're also back in cloth diapers. We've been struggling with a rash, but it is getting better so we're back in them. I really hope it works this time, disposables are expensive and we go through so many of them. Plus they're so cute!

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Week 4

Almost a month. I can't believe you have been with us, well out of my belly, for almost a month. I can't believe how much I love you. This week you grew a ton and had your first growth spurt, which meant you wanted to eat all.of.the.time. Mommy is still having a hard time breastfeeding, so that was rough, but we are working through it. You love to breastfeed, but now are not always as sleepy afterwards. Sometimes you just want to play and mommy misses out on the snuggle time that she used to always get. You also seem less interested in tummy time, but bath time is still super fun. You love to eat your hands and play with us. You are starting to smile when you hear and see us and make more noises to show you are happy or upset. This week we went to your first music class. You slept through most of it, then cried a little. Then we went to Amy's to visit and your cousin Rebecca checked you out for awhile while Amy held you. Everyone is so in love with you. Afterwards we went to grandma's house for the first time where you slept, and slept and slept. We tried to wake you up, that you did not like that idea at all. Then this weekend we went to Wash Park with Allison, Ben and Otto and walked around a lot. You had a hard morning that day, so again you slept but we let you. Sadly, dad went back to work yesterday and mommy and you had our first night alone. It was hard, you didn't want to sleep and mommy really did. But we made it through okay. Today you took your first nap in your crib. It was somewhat successful, you slept there, but only if I rocked you to sleep every 15 minutes. That is okay, that is the parenting strategy we are going with, plus I love rocking you just as much as you love to be rocked. Happy four week birthday little man.

Yet Another App

I wrote a really long post about breastfeeding. I REALLY long one. And I waited to get a posting confirmation, and where is that post? Yeah, I don't know either. So I uninstalled that app and found another. Hopefully it works better. If I'm less annoyed tomorrow I'll try to rewrite it. It took about an hour to write though!

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Using babies to save marriages

It seems like everyone I know acknowledges that this is a bad idea. Yet it is common knowledge that people do this all the time. Which people? I have no idea, but you know, people. The thing about it is, I get it. When I was married to me ex I would never have had a kid to save it. Probably because I knew deep down I didn't want to save it, and also because I originally chose the wrong man to father my children, but I digress. Never would I have had children to save that marriage. However, having X has changed how I feel about Mike. I'm amazed every day by how much I love him. Watching him be a father to X makes me love him more than I thought possible-so if our relationship ever got rocky I could see how I would think having another baby would fix it. Still a bad idea of course, because babies are insanely stressful and I'm sure ruin plenty of marriages, but X, for our psuedo-marriage, hasn't hurt a thing. I love watching Mike father X, and I love the kind of dad he is and wants to be, and I love the amazing little boy he gave me. Happy father's day Mike.

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Mother F

So, at like 5 am I write blog posts, on my phone, using an app, with one hand. Usually it works well, but twice now they've disappeared. What the fuck?! And in my sleep deprived state I can't even remember what I Blogged. All I remember is that I wrote about how our new dishwasher fucked up our pump by melting the sucky part, like the part that makes it suck literally. And I wrote about how much I love X after I nurse him and he snuggles and makes lovey sounds. The other entry was way better.



There two parts should be identical.

posted from Bloggeroid

Being fat

Everyone says breastfeeding helps you lose weight, and god knows I hate being fat, dieting and exercise. Right now that seems like the only benefit of breastfeeding. Granted I say that as I sit here and pump after an excruciating breastfeeding session. I fucking HATE breastfeeding! It is so painful. I dread feeding my son, which is the worst feeling in the world. I feel like such an awful parent, but I hate it so much. I feel like I've lost everything I really believed in when it came to this whole experience. I couldn't give birth to him, I can't feed him. It totally sucks. I'm over it. All I do is look stuff up on breastfeeding and none of it matters, I still can't do it.

posted from Bloggeroid

OMG

Want to laugh until you pee and be SUPER disturbed at the same time? Check it out.

Week 3

I wanted to make posts at the end of every week documenting X and his adventures in this world, but it is way harder to find time to post than I thought it would be. So here we are at three weeks old and I haven't documented anything, and I am already forgetting things because it is just so much--I don't think your brain has room for any of it. X is now 20 days old and already so different than the baby I had in the hospital. This week he met my dad who he was named after, his cousins Suza, Skip, Jena, Lexi and Pat. We went to a breastfeeding support group that was a bust, but he is growing great. We have also been treating his first rash, which really sucks because we can't use cloth diapers until it clears up. Luckily, it doesn't seem to bother him at all. I think his umbilical cord stump may have fallen out this week too, but it may have been last week. Either way, it is gone, which is good because it was yucky. Now he has a cute little outtie. I am not sure when it fell out, but if it was this week he also had his first real bath. He didn't like it, but he didn't hate it either. He liked having the water poured over him, but not being washes to much. Essentially, he doesn't like having his arms and legs pulled on. But he smelled so good when it was done. We have also been walking a lot--using an Ergo, a Mei Tai carrier and a ring sling. The ergo is the most comfortable, but it is hot. He like walking. He also loves his daddy and hanging out with him. He will just sit and stare at him for hours, or sleep on his chest. In the last few days he has become a little more independent and will let us put him in his rocker or swing a for a little while if he is dead asleep. He also has taken to a pacifier--I am torn on this as I hate seeing babies with pacifiers, but he sure loves it and it calms him down. He loves tummy time and is very strong, holding his head up for close to a minute at a time, and not a little bit up, a lot up. He still loves to snuggle and be held most of the time and hates waking up. It takes him about 30 minutes of fussing to actually wake up, which is great for mommy and daddy because we have that time to prepare for him or to wake up ourselves. I love this little guy so much.

LC

I went to the lactation consultant yesterday because breastfeeding is still really painful, and it isn't supposed to be at 20 days postpartum. I thought maybe I had thrush because I have a serious burning sensation after I nurse that lasts about 4 hours. It pretty much sucks a lot, and if anything touches my chest it is unbelievably painful, which is unfortunate since I have a new baby that I like to snuggle. Anyway, I don't have thrush. I really don't have anything wrong. X could latch a little better and open his mouth a little wider, but that is it. Which is good, but it sucks too, because if I had thrush it would suck but they could give me medicine and it would go away. After talking to the LC it seems that it won't ever go away. The latch pain should go away in a few more weeks, it is just getting used to it, but the other pain is caused by a very fast and strong letdown, which is why my one week old only nursed for 10 minutes instead of 45 like most newborns. X is getting plenty of food, so that is awesome, but the letdown is so fast that I feel it. And there isn't anything I can do about it. It just hurts, and will continue to hurt, indefinately. My only consolation is that the LC said I will eventually get more used to the pain. Really? That is all you can give me? I will just get used to it? Now I understand why all of the breastfeeding classes focus so much on the benefits of nursing, if I wasn't convinced that this was super important, I would have quit within the first weeks. Well, 3 weeks down, 49 more to go. I really wanted to enjoy breastfeeding....

I can still have one thing

It is no surprise to anyone who has talked to me, but I don't like breastfeeding. I hope someday I like it, that it becomes a rewarding, pleasurable, bonding experience. For now though, it is an exhausting, painful, demanding requirement that I do because it is what's best for X and our family. I will admit that its getting better though, a little less painful, a little better at it. I have no idea how humans made it to the top of the food chain though, and I get the appeal of formula. But this is the one thing in my birth plan that I can still have-my son can still be exclusively breasted.

After X eats he goes into this milk coma, but when I lift him up he makes this face I love. He made it in the hospital all the time, but now I hardly see it. He stretches his forehead up as far as he can, like he's trying to open his eyes using his forehead muscles. It reminds me of him being an infant. He has already changed so much.

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Dairy Farm

I feel like a cow. Whenever I hold X he starts rooting and making sucking noises, even if he's not hungry. He loves Mike, which is awesome, but he really only wants food from me. I'd be okay with that except Mike is going back to work, so I can't just give him the baby for a break soon. Now, when I know he's not hungry but just fussy, Mike takes him. But in a few days I'm screwed because when he is fussy I'll be the only one here to hold him, and it'll make him want to eat-all day long.

posted from Bloggeroid

Doctor's appointment

Finding time to blog is difficult. There is so much that I want to write about and document on this crazy journey, but finding time to sit down at a computer is almost impossible. So I found a Blogger app! I can usually get one hand free and write in T9. So entries will probably be a lot shorter and possibly contain some odd word choices, but it's better than nothing.

So, we had our first pediatrician appointment yesterday. It went well except X screamed through most of it. It was his normal feeding time, so that was part of it, and generally it isn't much fun. But he gained 9 ounces in 6 days and seems completely healthy. He is now 9 pounds 9 ounces, 21 inches long and in the 86th percentile for size. Still a chunker.

After the doctor we went to old Chicago for lunch with huge success. X slept through all of it. He is not a fan of his carseat so he was ready to get out of it when we got home, but he did great at the restaurant.

Overall it was a good day, we all got out of the house, X is doing awesome and I'm unbelievably happy.

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Week 1

I have the cutest baby ever.