How We Got Here

After scouring other baby blogs, I found some interesting coincidences. Most of them start with odd biographical information. Although I don't actually expect anyone to read this blog, I still found it somewhat fitting and think I will do the same. Although it is usually the first post, and doesn't have a disclaimer explaining why the author is doing something, I still like it. Here we go.

I am a divorced 27 year old who is madly in love with my somewhat younger, also divorced, much less jaded, boyfriend. I adore him. We have decided to make a baby. Hopefully the baby will also be much less jaded than I am :)

We are not married, nor engaged, and yes, this is planned. I am not pregnant yet. In fact, today is the first day since I was 15 that I have not actively tried to NOT get pregnant. I know some people will assume it is an accident. I would like to say that I am okay with that, but I am not. I think I will spend the next few years explaining to everyone that is was very intentional, well thought-out and planned yes planned. I still clearly remember arguing with a 1st grader (I was also a first grader at the time) that parents absolutely DO NOT have to be married to make a baby. I remember arguing that marriage was a legal institution and making babies was a biological phenomenon, therefore, they were not connected at all. I also remember the first grader being rather cross-eyed at this revelation. I think people will be rather cross eyed at the revelation that two people can choose and try to have a baby without being married first. For some people the idea of choosing to have a baby before choosing to get married is just as confusing as the idea that babies and marriage are not connected was for the little girl. Now, most adults can deal with accidentally getting pregnant and choosing to keep the baby, but that is not the case here, and I just know this is going to be a constant convincing scheme. This is my proof. World, I choose knowingly to conceive a baby with someone I am not legally attached too. So there. Not all babies born into wedlock are accidents.

Currently I am a secondary teacher. I love my job, however, in exactly 17 days it will no longer exist. They are closing my school. My kids have to find new academic homes, and I have to find a new teaching position. So far, I have had no luck. I am looking, and applying, and hoping. I love teaching, but I am somewhat hesitant of new schools and districts because of my attachments to my school and district. However, I need a job for a year.

My wonderful partner in all of this however, has a very stable, high paying job, which makes the whole unemployment thing less scary. Not that I won't have some sort of work, but it is just less crucial I guess. His job isn't going anywhere, as long as he can avoid the beckoning middle management that I cannot help but feel he is being molded into.

I have wanted a baby for a long time. Not actually wanted I guess, but wanted to know that some day I would have one. I have always felt too young, too unstable, too broke. But this spring, in our tiny kitchen, BF asked if I wanted a baby, at which point I laughed since he knew I did, and he told me he wanted one too. I don't actually think I will ever forget that moment, and I don't think I have ever been happier. It was better than any marriage proposal and meant as much, because in that moment we committed to each other. See, you can divorce someone, but you cannot divorce the parent of your child, not really. I never have to have anything to do with my ex ever again. I choose to, we have the same friends and we get along, but if we didn't, that would be fine. The parent of your child it is forever. The commitment is much higher in reality. They never go away.