Elephantine

Now that we are officially "trying" or at least not actively trying to prevent a pregnancy, I am sort of obsessed with my weight. I gained about 10 pounds during all of the end of the year, not having a job anxiety and I am scared I will never lose it. Like, ever. Since I am already 10 pounds heavier than I want to be, I cannot see pregnancy helping. See, some women, I think few, get back to their pre-baby weight, but how many get even thinner than that? If I am overweight now do I have any hope? I am not sure right now that I am not pregnant. I don't think I am, but I am not sure, I could be. Therefore, I am not willing to risk dieting. I don't think under eating while trying to start a pregnancy is a great idea. I am not really ever going to be sure I am not pregnant, well, except for like 4 days a month and I am definitely NOT giving up food then. Maybe I should just go with an elephant theme for the nursery, then the baby will recognize me :(