Ahhh

This may make you sick, that is the warning, but it is my blog so I don't care. Don't read this if you are not in a very happy place, or else you may want to kill me.

So, we are trying to make a baby. Everyone who reads this is an adult, I think, so I am assuming we all know what that means and entails and that we are all okay with it. If not, again, my blog, peace out. I, uh, really like "making babies" in general. In fact, it is good for me to be in a committed relationship because otherwise I tend to compete with Tucker Max or Chelsea Handler. If you don't know who they are, look them up, they wrote books about "making babies" except hopefully with birth control. For my whole life I have looked for the right guy, possibly too hard and in many wrong places. Hell, I married an obviously wrong choice and convinced myself it was a good idea, even though everyone, myself included (and him too) knew it was not. One problem with the wrong guy is that the "making babies" part sucks. Well, not at first, which leads us in a circle back to Max and Handler, because novelty does have a place in all of this. The problem for me is that novelty generally runs out around month eight. That is not very long when you are 28 years old. Novelty evolves into mundane, which leads to frustration, discontentment, resentment and eventually complete dissatisfaction. That has been my personal experience. Day 1 = okay, day 5 = perfect, month 8 = completely over it. I thought that is just how it was. Enter perfect boyfriend. Year 2 and we are still around day 5, at least for me and I hope for him.....Uh, this post wasn't actually supposed to be about this, I somehow got caught up in this and think that when this blog goes live I will need to lock this entry (right now it is unsearchable, so unless someone knows the EXACT url address, they can't find it, and it doesn't scroll on blogger's list so random people won't find it). I am not sure perfect boyfriend really wants this made public. Regardless, yes, day five and staying, even though we are in year 2.

So, what this was really supposed to be about....the other night we were in bed, watching tv and PBF kissed me (in the baby making way, which is why the post started that way). I instantly got butterflies. Like the kind you get in middle school when the boy you like holds your hand or when you get asked to prom. Two years, committed relationship, making babies and I still get butterflies. I didn't know that sort of love existed--the kind where you can love someone long term, but have it not be ordinary or expected.