Baby Steps and Bigger Steps

Last night we pre-registered at the hospital, took a tour and got some questions answered. Let’s start by saying that this hospital is nicer than most hotels I have stayed in. The labor and delivery rooms are HUGE. They have a bed, a fold out couch, a rocking chair, an armoire with a refrigerator. All of the machines and equipment are on shelves so it seems less medical and all of the rooms have private bathrooms with bathtubs. They have individual thermostats and adjustable lighting, plus a large window. They have WiFi and ESPN. For real. I swear, I almost don’t want to labor at home just so I can spend more time in the labor and delivery ward.

After birth you get to stay there for 1-2 hours, until mom can walk and baby has had a chance to bond with parents and breastfeed. Awesome. It seems pretty normal to not have visitors in these rooms, which is what I want. I haven’t decided if I want my mom to be there when the baby is born. Part of me does, but I have been warned about it by numerous people, so I am a little concerned. Anyway, I think I will totally want my mom after the baby is born. Not for the baby at all, but for me. I feel a little bit guilty because I don’t want any other visitors during that first hour—I just want time for me and Mike to bond with X and practice feeding, but I think I will want my mom too. I don’t know, maybe I won’t.

After you have recovered they take you to the baby and mom rooms. They don’t actually have a nursery, which is awesome, so the baby rooms in. This is when and where they do all of the tests and stuff—so after the baby has had a chance to bond. They will give him the Vitamin K shot, the eye drops (which I am sort of opposed to, but I don’t think enough to fight it, essentially it seems useless, but not dangerous, so whatever) and a bath. It is so nice that right after the baby is born they won’t take him to the side and give him shots and a bath. I mean, the poor little guy will have just been through a huge, traumatic event, giving him an hour or so to snuggle is a better choice. The rooms are not as nice, and definitely not as large, but still pretty good sized. There is a bed, armoire, fridge, private bathroom with shower and a fold out futon chair thing, plus a window. Oh, and a bassinet for the baby. I guess they don’t want you walking around in the ward carrying the baby because of safety. I mean, if someone was going to steal a baby, they probably wouldn’t grab the entire rolling bassinet. This is when and where we will take visitors. I think it will be easier to have visitors at the hospital than at home. I will feel less pressure to entertain people and I think people won’t stay as long. That is my hope. We need to find a way to communicate this with our families without sounding bitchy though. It isn’t that I don’t want guests, I totally do, I just think I may be super exhausted and I don’t want people staying for hours and hours.

The hospital has a 65-75% epidural rate, and the national average is about 75% so that isn’t too bad, but it definitely could be a lot better. I doubt I will find a nurse that is super into natural birth, but you never know. They do heplock instead of IV and there is a chance for intermittent monitoring using a Doppler rather than a band, which is pretty great if I am in the bathtub. I just don’t want to have to get back in bed every hour and lay there for 20 minutes. Plus, I asked about getting admitted and they will send you home, which is good because a lot of hospitals won’t, they will just let you labor for a few hours and then push pitocin, which is currently my greatest apprehension.

We also filled out basic information and the birth certificate form. That was so real. It was odd to write a name for a baby that doesn’t really exist yet. I mean, he exists, but it just isn’t the same. Like, if he just stayed in utero he wouldn’t need his own name, he would just be my baby. Also, I learned about paternity assignment. In the state of CO if you are married there is no need to prove or even claim paternity, it is just assumed. Which totally explains why Mike had to take a paternity test for his ex-wife’s son even though they both said it wasn’t his. Anyway, I Mike and I can’t just say the baby is his, he has to fill out another form acknowledging legal and financial responsibility for X. So, what happens if you are not talking to the mom or at the hospital when the baby is born? There is just no dad on the certificate and you have to go through the paternity determination stuff from the state. That seems rather ridiculous to me, if both people say he is the dad, what is the problem? Anyway, I am glad we know what we want/need to do to make sure Mike is established as the father right away.

In Mike and Donna news, we are opening a shared checking account tonight. Gulp. It is starting with just X’s money, so that we can get everything we still need for him. But we are going to transition our direct deposits to this account and pay all of our bills from it. Our bills. Holy crap. I was married to Devin and we NEVER shared a bank account. I mean, he had access to mine and a bank card (which he used to buy Heather lunch one day when he was out of his own money and figured, yeah, I am broke, why not use my wife’s money to buy another girl lunch) but we never shared anything. We always had separate bills and separate accounts. I never knew how much anything he did cost, or where he spent his money, or even how much money he actually made. But soon Mike and I will be sharing all of this information, and when this year is over we will be sharing one paycheck. That is sort of huge on the Donna anti-commitment scale. We have a good budget and plan, and I am not at all worried about the actual money part (aside from just not having enough) but it is more the symbolism behind it. We will have checks with both of our names on them. Wow. I think that gets us really close to common law marriage in CO. Not as far as Coors is considered for insurance, but I think shared checking could be used as evidence, especially since he will be supporting me and our son. Holy crap, we are going to have a son, like a really small human who belongs and is made of us. Wow.